January 2008

Dear Alex,

There will come a time in your life where certain actions will paralyze your progress. You’ll sit in a chair, or at your desk, or in your car, and contemplate how are you going to make the next step. If I remember well, you have actually been in that place recently. Too often you have found yourself searching for an immediate answer, and I need you to understand it is not always there. I am proud of you for standing strong when you need to. However, I know you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve, and you feel that this may be a weakness. It isn’t. As you grow you’ll find that too many people never let anyone know how they feel. You though, always will. I am very happy in my life right now, and most, if not all of it, has to do with being honest with yourself and those you love.

I won’t tell you if I have kids or not, or even if I am married. I think that is something you need to discover for yourself. You joked with me about presidential speeches, and I am sad to say, you’ll still hear the same speech over and over. If anything, I have learned that knowing the future is not as important as knowing the past. I am glad you and I have experienced the things that we have. From the simple things, like having a hangover, to the horrible things, like losing your best friend, it will make you a better person. You’ll remember the pain you felt when Jimmy died, but it will allow you to feel honest compassion for your friends and family when they pass. You will remember your failures, but they will allow you to do a better job the next time. You will remember your past loves, but they will allow you to love even better.

Pay attention, not to me, not to Papa, not to Mama, not to Neal, but to yourself. Don’t focus on making everyone around you happy. If you make sure you are happy, and I don’t mean selfishly happy, but honestly happy with yourself, then everyone around you will be as well. I remain creative and expressive. I allow myself time to read and time to reflect. I’ll even use the cliche statement: Don’t live to work, work to live. That, Alex, might seem like common sense, but it so easy to fall into that trap.

It seems like only yesterday I was 31. It was a great year for us. You’ll see. Hey, if anything, it was the last year of George W. Bush. And, I am happy to say, you won’t see a worse president any time soon. I am sure you want to continue to ask me about the future, and I will hope you will. It will help you understand your position in life now. Remember that when your progress is paralyzed all you need to do is remain focused, pay attention to your heart and mind, and you will move ahead quickly, filled with conviction, and you will make the right choices. Mama and Papa raised you well, and they are still very proud of you.

Tell your friends I say hello, I don’t see many of them anymore. I do have a lot of good friends now though, so don’t worry, I don’t become an old hermit. I do give up drinking like you do, I mean, there is only so much beer an old man can take.

Love,

Alexander

PS: You should see the shit kids pull today. Driving into a ditch in your car is nothing.

{ 4 comments }