The weather was perfect, the sun was low in the sky, ready to set. My friends and I had set up our blankets, bought our wine, made vodka “sangria” and all gathered on Santa Monica beach, right south of the pier to see the first of the summer concert series on the pier. The beach was packed. Little kids to old couples all gathered to enjoy a perfect southern California evening.
When I got there I went and bought some more wine. I crossed the pier and found a booth where the “Surf Rider Foundation” was raffling off a brand new beach cruiser. I told myself I should buy a ticket, walked off and bought two bottles of overpriced wine and walked back to the beach. A little while later, I remembered the bike and told my friend Diana and her friend Frank, I have to go buy raffles tickets because I was going to win the bike. They laughed, and I ran off, buying ten of them for twenty bucks. The guy who sold them to me wished me luck, I told him I did not need it, I was going to win the bike tonight. By the time I came back down, almost everyone had arrived and the music started. We had great conversations, met cool new people, and drank a whole lot. I am not sure if we actually listened to the music, but I do know it was a night that made me truly fall for California.
My friend Ruben’s girlfriend, Bridget and I were sitting talking, and we both looked out at the beach, saw how happy everyone was and felt so happy ourselves, it made us both sit back and truly accept how wonderful it was that we were there at that moment. I guess you could say it was that moment I realized how happy I am to be here in Los Angeles. It has been only three months, but I finally felt at peace with my choice to come here, and it was an eye opening experience.
As the concert went on, we all kept partying, dancing and laughing. The concert ended, and my phone rang. “Hello”, I said. “Alex?”, said the person on the phone, “Where the hell are you? You won the bike!” I yelled, “Holy Shit, I won the bike!” and ran off, up the stairs and claimed my prize. When I got there the guy at the booth went, “Yo dude, you’re the guy who said he was going to win the bike!” I probably could not be happier. I picked up my bike, and ran back down to the beach, cheers from everyone I was with, and then, I had to ride it to my car. It is sitting in my dining room now.. waiting for the Fourth of July where I am joining my friends to ride around town in Venice and go to some parties.
The rest of the weekend was just as great, Friday night I went out with Bridget and her friends, then Ruben joined us, and we had a great night, especially because I saw what is probably the greatest pornographic painting known to man. Saturday I was in Hollywood seeing my co-workers band for his friend’s 30th birthday and Sunday I spent it at my pool and then in Venice at the “Beer Garden” and O’Brian’s..
I know all my weekends can’t be like this one, but I’ll tell you this, if only a few are I will be content.
The great thing about my job is I get to work with some really cool people. It can make some of the crap I deal with seem trivial. Yesterday I had probably the best metaphorical conversation with someone that I have had in a long time. I thought I would share it with you.
Me: “Well I guess they have a lot of Baggage”
Shawnna: “Everyone has baggage”
Me: “But see, it is only baggage, you just have to carry it. You don’t have to wear what is inside”
Shawnna: “Well, sometimes you run out of things to wear”
Me: “I guess”
Shawnna: “It’s like that broken in pair of jeans, they may be dirty, but sometimes you have one of those days, and you love to wear them.”
This conversation was one of true genius I tell you. Well, ok, maybe not genius, but damn skippy if it wasn’t spot on!
PS: Thank god for lolcats
Dear Alexander,
I hope the future is well. I am having an amazing time in Los Angeles. It sure has been a quick two and a half months. I woke up this morning and honestly felt like I had been here much longer. It makes me think a lot about what I have left in New York. Not that I regret leaving anything, but I really notice that as I get caught up in the day to day of life, I forget to talk to some friends. I pay less attention to what is going on in New York. I actually have no idea what is happening in Hoboken. (And to think, I love Hoboken). I guess it is a natural progress of things. I can’t pay attention to everything I used to. However, I can’t take anything for granted either. I need to remember to focus energy on the things in my past that are important to me. I mean, it is the friendships I have developed, the things I have done, and the places I have been that have led me here, sitting on a chair, in my apartment, writing to you from Los Angeles.
I find that I have clung to things that have no meaning in the whole scheme of things. It is interesting how I have placed value on things that maybe didn’t have any value to begin with. At the same time, I think I have allowed myself to devalue things that actually should be much more significant in my life. Maybe I do this because it is easier that way. You know, if I don’t pay attention to the things that actually matter, I forget about them, and they then seem to have less importance. Out of sight, out of mind, people say.
The one great thing about friendship, however, is you can move past transgressions. You can move past insecurities and taking someone for granted, and rekindle that friendship. I hope I take a bit more time out of my week to make sure I do that. It is definitely a sobering experience to move away from all that you are comfortable with. However, I need to make sure I pay attention to what made me comfortable. I need to understand that my emotions, feelings, thoughts and desires are honest and that I can’t ignore them to try and forget them. That, I feel, is really just a “cop out”. I’d rather know I tried, than regret not trying at all.
I was going through a lot of things I have collected over the years, in particular I was looking at some photos. In those photos are past friends, past loves, past enemies and past ideas. One thing unites all of them: They have all influenced who I have become today. Now, do I need to keep all of them? No, and I am sure you are thankful I didn’t because you’d have to deal with them in the future. But, I do need to remember what they meant to me. I do need to pay attention to the events that shaped me. Why did I react the way I did? Why did I get angry that one time, cry that other time, laugh yet another time? What is it that has made me? What wishes have I made over the years that have come true, and what wishes have not.
As I experience all the new things here in Los Angeles, I need to put them with my past things. I can’t mentally shuffle my past under the rug. I hope this has helped you in your life in the future. I wish I could get answers from you on the future. I wish you could tell me, do I live in LA, do I get married, do I have kids, do I learn to surf, do I develop any disease, does anything amazing happen, anything tragic happen, do I make a lot of money, do I travel around the world? I know that you can’t and I appreciate that you won’t. The future will be everything I make of it, and happily that excites me like it has never done before.
Love,
Alex
