Letters to the past

Dear Charles,

I hope you, Neal, Mama and Papa are having a great Memorial Day weekend. Has Papa cranked up the tunes through the house? I always loved the long weekends where Mama and Papa would do things around the house, Neal and I would ride our bikes all over, and we would have dinner on the deck. I just spoke to Mama and Papa on the phone from my apartment in Los Angeles. They had just got back from the store, Mama is making guacamole, and Papa just got in the house from walking their dog Susie. I am traveling back on Monday, they already have our dinner planned, I am really looking forward to seeing them.

Are you excited for the summer? That three month break you have will be so much fun. When you get to Avon, NC this summer, try and be the dune jumping champion. What you do now will shape who I am today, and I really miss jumping off dunes in the summer on the beach. It is wonderful we have parents that are very caring and loving. Take this with you as you become older, it will be a guiding light. To love and care for your family, your friends, your girlfriends, your pets, and whatever else, is what will make you the most happy in life. You can only do this though, if you remember to always have a positive attitude and self confidence. I know, Mama says that to you all the time, and she is right. If you find yourself looking at the bad things more than the good, take a minute to look again and find the good things.

Now, no pressure, but all the choices you have before you, led me to Los Angeles. I am so glad I made them, and you will make them. Keep it up. Some will hurt, some will be annoying, and others will make you want to jump out of your skin in excitement. Savor each one for what it is. Never wish you were someone else, never put up a wall, never change your direction because you fear something. I know you won’t, I mean, I am here today, but I think it is important to remind you. You are the sum of your history and that is fantastic.

Also remember this, you are who I am now, even there, sitting at home with Mama and Papa. We judge things the same way, we need things the same way, we want things the same way. That is how you become an adult, you are able to do things better as you get older, because you realize that you can make conscious choices to change the way you react to something, and get the result you want in the end. By remembering you and only you control your feelings and emotions, you will find great comfort in standing strong and tall in the face of anything that comes before you

Well, time to take a shower and go meet some friends. Have a wonderful weekend with Mama, Papa and Neal.

Love,

Alex

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Dear Chas.,

So, next week you go back to school. Are you ready for the rest of the year? What grade are you in now? Don’t be sad the Christmas break is over, you will have a spring break coming soon and you get three months off in the summer. What I would give to have three months off again. I stayed home from work today. I went out with friends last night, had a few too many beers and it allowed a bug to take hold. You’ll wind up liking beer. I know you probably don’t see the point now. Staying home while everyone else is at work is a very weird experience. It is like staying home from school, only the cartoons are not fun and the daytime TV is so bad you almost wonder if anyone really watches it. (While you watch it). I am feeling pretty crappy, but it is my own fault. You’ve definitely need to remember that, you make ALL the choices in your life.

Tomorrow I am going to go to the MoMa in New York. They have a display of George Seurat’s drawings. (It is the last weekend). I will probably being going by myself. I think it might be very therapeutic to go and explore the museum alone. I hope it will inspire me. I attempted to paint on January 1st. It was not very inspired, more like a feeble attempt to distract myself from the post New Year’s Eve boredom I was experiencing sitting in my apartment. But, that is a goal of mine this year, to continue to be more creative and expressive. I do not want to become a stereotypical man. Mama and Papa did not raise you or I to be that way, but it is very easy to fall into. I also want to see Alexander Calder’s mobiles. You will go with Mama, Papa and Neal to the National Gallery of Art in Washington DC and see one of his most famous hanging there.

So, how is Nick? Did you, Neal and Nick hang out together all Christmas break? Cherish every moment you have with Nick, because later in life you won’t see him. Our lives have split and we really never talk. You spend all the waking moments you can with Nick, while I couldn’t tell you what he is doing right now. His mother, Mary, and Mama remain very good friends. So, I do hear things now and then. The point is this, nothing is permanent in life, but that does not mean it is not worthwhile to dedicate yourself to something or someone even if it is for a short time. Stay focused on your passions and friends. Make sure you play as much as possible. But, remember, don’t run away from anything in life. You don’t want to become an “escapist”. If you find you are in a struggle, just making a complete change so the struggle does not have to be dealt with is the wrong thing to do. Why? Because the struggle actually remains, and it weighs down on your soul. If you keep doing that, then you wind up running away from magical things in your life and you wind up constantly searching for the next “stimuli” so you can feel alive.

My friend Jay is up in the area but I won’t be seeing him. Neal saw him though, which is good. I miss Jay and his wife Tara. They have a baby boy named Ethan and I don’t know when I will see him again. He was born here in NJ, but they moved to Arkansas soon after. (Tara is from Arkansas) Here is a friend I need to be more in touch with. He has been my friend for years (actually he was friends with Nick too). So, another one of my 2008 resolutions is to be in touch with my friends. So, as you grow up, try and remember to always reach out to your friends, no matter the distance and how much work you have, or how many things you have to do. When you are old and gray, you will only have your friends and family.

It is time to continue to be lazy in my apartment. Have a good night, listen to Mama and Papa, and don’t leave your apple cores lying around.

Love,

Alex

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